Hello Kathryn. My whole story . I met my husband when I was going through a terrible time in my life. I felt he gave me strength. He did all the right things ,he said all the right things, and treated my son (his stepson) like gold.Our relationship moved very quickly. After 3 months my son and I moved in with him. I felt our relationship was right out of a movie. There was so much love and I was content with my decision to live with him. His Mom was the nicest person you could ever meet and she adored my son. 1 month later we had our first argument. It was nothing more than a normal silly argument that couples have or so I thought. The next thing I knew He told me to move out. I had agreed to leave as I had family I could stay with. The next day he had appologized for over reacting so we stayed. 1 Month later he proposed. I accepted. He than started talking about having another child. I agreed. Quickley we found out we were expecting a baby.I asked that we wait to get married until after the baby. He demanded that he was not going to have a bastard child and we would be married before the baby was born. 1 month later We were married. His mom was great until we announced our engagment. She cried and was completeley devastaed by the news. She than seemd to adjust and was back to heer old self. THan she heard we were having a baby. She began yelling at me and said I had no business having a baby. But turned to him and asked him if he was happy. 1 week before the wedding Some of my family and his mom went for dinner.She refused to talk to me but constantly asked my family about me. Saying things like what was her child hood like, and I am sure she had to have had a bad child hood etc. It was like she was trying to talk herself into finding something wrong with me. At the rehersal for the wedding she refused to be in the church. During preperations she said things like you look fat in your dress, she even changed my flowers and took over decorating completeley. When I finally confronted my soon to be husband he told me to go fuck my self. As with a new baby on the way and a wedding set for the next day I rounded it up to new life stresses for him and we got married. About one month after we were married we had another argument,I believe it was over money as he always spent alot on noon necessities, like a few hundred n his truck a few hundred on gambeling etc. I had foound out he stole all of our wedding gift monies and my sons birthday money and blew it in the vlts. He than left the house about 1 in the morn i was worried and started calling to find him. His Betsfriend found him at a bar . He came home. The next day I was out and came home to find sleeping pills all over the bathroom. I became quite upset and again started calling to find him. He told his bf that He was better off dead and that I only wanted him for his money. Everyone was left with the thought that he was suicidal. We tried marriage counselling. He was dishonest about the whole situation. He refused to ever go back after one session. Not long after if we had an argument His friend starting taking liberties and yelling at me and I am the one who is difficult to live with and I should do my job as a wife keep my opinions to my self ,and another time he actually told me to do my job anf screw my husband. All this while I was preganant with our son. We lived life like this for about a year. Soon My husband began doing new things. He began talking to my family and saying things that I was saying that were untrue ,But of course this caused alot of problem I began to have a wedge between me and my family. He even went as far as making me beileve that he was having an affair with an aunt that was going through a divorce at the time. Time went on. Eventually we had the baby and things were good for awhile. We had unexpected expenses come up so he talked me into a joint line of credit account to consolidate all of our payments into one. he handled all the bills and expenses. A few months after that I stumbled upon a bill and found out he completley emptied the line of credit. We had another fight.This one was different we were both yelling when I treid to leave the room He cornered me held the door shut and began punching me in the head several times screaming at me I fucking hate several times. I could not respond. I sat there took it . An aunt came and got me and the boys . She took me to a hospital to have the assult recored and it all went from there The police charged hime with assult. We seperated for 3 months. Than we began talking his reason being the kids. And we got back together.
After that everytime he got mad and would tell me to grow up or hes leaving . He moved out five t imes and than kept begging me to take him back. Eveytime i did he would become mean and hurtful saying things like you need to lose wieght and I didnt maryy a fat chick etc. After talking to a psycologist who told me I was suffering from circumstancial depression and my family started to realize what was happening they became a great support for me. The fifth time My husband said he was moving out cause he was sick of living with a fat lazy broad and truned evrything on me and said I was controlling him and holding him back I said enough. I told him this was the last time he was going to do this to me. He shoved me into a closet resulting in a huge bruise on my back. He moved and he was charged with assult a seconed time. I refrained from contacting him , his friends and familly for 2 months. on the advice of police as he needed time to cool off. In that time he applied for divorce papers and custody papers for full custody of my children. When he was able to contact me he threatend if i didnt sign to sell the house he would claim bankruptcy and leave me with all the debt. I did not let him scare me. He followed through and we had to move. He than said to the court I was conatntly moving without his knowledge and ordered that I have to give him 3 months notice of moving. Whcich was only due to the forclosure on the house.,
Through all this we are still in court as he keeps taking me back for custody. I tried mediation with him but they put me in the same room as him which did not work out as he of course blamed evrything on me he said it was my fault he hit me, and that I should be greatful for everything his mother has done for me(which is literally nothing) I could not belive that the mediator let that go on as it was supposed to be about access of our son. I called my lawywer and he told me to discontinue mediation. So now we are at a stand still as my ex has exhuasted all means of custody hearings. To this day were have no final custody arrangement still no divorce and I am still in debt for the house and the thousands of dollars he stole from the line of credit. And all he can say is I brought this on myself. But now I am a different person. I run a dayhome so that I can be home with my children who are still very young. I support them my self. I have a very strong bond with my children who through all this I have maintained a positive attitude towards thier father Iam excited for them after a visit . It is hard to hear what my 4 year old comes homes and say things like daddy says you need to share me, and you stole all daddies stuff. But He still loves his dad and I keep my answers as simple as possible and remember not to get into the nitty gritty with them. But They are happy boys well adjusted . I have managed to buy a car myself , Keep a roof over our heads and keep us well fed . Its been a long road and my journey is not quite over yet but people like you give me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will continue to face my fears head on. It can only go up from here!